Email: contact@cinemashelf.com

“You have no respect for logic.” – Twins Review

Top secret genetic experiment, what could possibly go wrong?

The premise of this movie is that a set of twins, created via genetic experiment, separated at birth, find each other and bond through various shenanigans. Julius, Arnold’s character, is smart, well-educated, and strong. Whereas, Vincent, Danny DeVito, is a snarky, womanizing crook.

Julius unwittingly helps Vincent steal a car by just casually lifting it up so that the alarm stops. You know just your everyday, casual car-lifting, nbd. The car they steal is that of a transporter (like Jason Statham). Vincent negotiates the return of the car and its contents for $5 million. Julius tags along and convinces Vincent to look for their mother along the way.

During the roadtrip, they bond (if they were truly siblings they would have killed each other, but maybe that’s just my personal experience). Along the way, they decide to be a family no matter what they find out about their origins. This decision comes complete with matching suits all the way down to their boat shoes.

Spoiler Alert*** (not really necessary for a 25+ year old movie but still)

They get to their mother’s compound (don’t drink the kool-aid!) and are turned away, informed that their mother is dead. Vincent delivers the goods, gets his money, but still the transporter is after him, but never fear Julius shows up just in time to help.

They do the right thing and return the stolen property and end up in the newspaper where mommy (aka the lady that told them mom was dead) sees them and realizes they were telling the truth. Finally, they are reunited with their mother, they both get the girl, and have their own sets of twins aka happily ever after.

3/10

Arnold’s favorite song throughout the movie was Yakity Yak and as the song goes “take out the papers and the trash” when you take out that trash be sure to throw this movie in there. The movie was extremely predictable, I figured out the ending probably 5 minutes in. My saving grace was my sister stopped by in the middle of the movie so I got an ice cream break before having to come back and finish the movie.

I did not like Twins at all and really hope that the rumored sequel Triplets does not happen. Triplets is supposedly being written by Josh Gad (Olaf or Bear Claw anyone?) who is having a moment right now but I don’t know if even he can save these movies. I know it’s an Arnold movie but it was particularly cheesy and awful.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.